There are times, like when I'm out at a really fantastic bar, drinking well made, exotic cocktails, and discussing very sophisticated things like the next bougie event that I am working on, that I feel like I am young, fun, and living a fabulously glamorous life. Then there are times, like when I talk with my young cousin, when I feel like I am a hop, skip and a jump away from waving a cane at the young'uns (read: 18 to 21 year olds) drunkenly hooting and hollering down the street at 2 am and telling them to get off my damn lawn, after giving those whippersnappers on Teen Mom a piece of my mind. Today was one of those days.
My dear, sweet young cousin, Darla I'll call her, is still a very green underclassman in high school. She messages me from time to time, in a complex language of abbreviations that I call "teen speak" that causes me to have one tab open on Facebook and another tab on Urban Dictionary in order to interpret what she says. Today, however, she was loud and clear. While checking up on friends' misadventures, a message from Darla pops up: "boys are stupid." This progresses into a conversation that informed me of the intricate world of teenage dating. Words like "talking" and "walking" mean something much more significant than what those words mean to a 28 year old. Apparently "talking" and "walking" can lead to heartbreak, anger, mixed emotions, and confusion. All it was making me feel was "old" and "confused." Oh look... a similarity. Confusion all around. I gave her the best advice I could: maybe be a little bit of a tease, but don't be skanky.
I got to thinking... what is the rush to get into deep, meaningful relationships at such a young age? Why does someone with so many other, better things to do, worry about something that will most likely be, at the most, trivial a decade from now, but will most likely be mostly forgotten? I know I dated a bit in high school, but I can really only name two or so of the boys in question. I'm not saying that THEY are trivial, but the relationship was, in the end, of very little importance in the mosaic of my life. What was significant were the dance classes, the voice lessons, the acting workshops, the musicals and plays, the deep friendships, and the carefree Friday night football games. Those were the things that have helped to mold the content of my character, that will last the rest of my life. The rest was just... fluff.
I'm not saying that formulating youthful simulations of deep, loving relationships is not a worthwhile experience, but I think that now, in this era of many many possibilities (assuming you receive a formidable college education), there are so many other things that should take priority. I shouldn't be so hypocritical, however. I remember (although it feels like it was far more than 10 years ago) the feeling of first kisses, note swapping, and flirty glances between desks. It really DID seem urgent. We live in a society that badgers kids into grow up far quicker than is really necessary. High school students are pressured to take extra curricular activities, not for the pure fun and healthy benefits of it, but to make your college admission essays and resume look good. Fun isn't the main point of it all... its to look good for the future. So, fun needs to be found in other venues. Thus, Teen Mom.
I worry for high school students in this generation, not because I think that they will make dumb choices. Girls like my cousins are smart, ambitious and are good girls. It's their friends and potential boyfriends that worry me. No doubt some of the other students in their grade have already done the dirty deed. Thus, no doubt, in the next few years, I worry that boys they date will expect more than a good night kiss at the end of an evening out. I worry about this because I know that was absolutely the case when I was Darla's age. By the time I was 15, I had a handful or more of friends that were no longer candidates for nun-hood. By the time I was 18, I was one of few people I knew that had yet to "take the plunge." My graduating class had six or so pregnant girls in it, for heaven's sake! I felt pressure to be like all of the people who made that choice, but my personal values kept me from taking that step. It will happen for everyone at some point, and God knows that I am not an advocate for the "abstinence only" teaching, but, looking back at my and my friend's life choices, I think it is so vital that these girls realize that some things you can't take back. That includes a baby or VDs. It's fun, and it's a very "adult" thing to do, but comes with adult repercussions. As long as they are prepared for them, and as long as they take the necessary precautions... well... it is what it is.
I'm actually, at this moment, doubting wether to actually post this. I'm sure that is goes totally against some of my friend's and family's beliefs, but it's realism that gets me thinking about the subject.
I don't think that I'm old, I think I'm just educated.
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